In the changing times, there is a large number of people who are not happy with their married life. Often there are disputes between them. In such a situation, when the situation worsens, the husband and wife separate, but if there is a child, then the parents start facing problems in raising the child because they live separately.
But it is very important to pay attention to the future of the child and it is also important to raise him well, but the upbringing of the child can be good only when the children get the support of both the parents. For this, parallel parenting and co parenting are often suggested in which both parents participate in the upbringing of the child, but how does it work and how parallel parenting and co parenting are beneficial in raising the child and what is the difference between them, knowing this can be very beneficial for you.
what is parallel parenting
You should know what is parallel parenting, so the parallel parenting definition is that parallel parenting is a co-parenting system that prevents the differences between the parents from affecting the upbringing of the child and provides a healthy environment to the child.
This is useful for those parents who are divorced or do not live together and they also have a child, in such a case the mother keeps the child with her for a limited time, then the father and this process continues. In this parallel parenting system, the parents do not talk to each other directly because their mutual relationship is not good and in parallel painting the parents limit their conversation to a great extent and pay more attention to the upbringing of the child.
To avoid the dispute between the parents from increasing, they do not talk on the phone and meet each other very rarely, they talk to each other only about the child and have necessary conversation through text, email and letter only.
The purpose of doing this is to reduce the tension and conflict between the parents as much as possible, parallel parenting effects on child is that the child can get a good and positive environment and the dispute between the parents should not affect his personal life.
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Principles of parallel parenting
Parallel parenting is mainly implemented under the court order or consent letter in which it is necessary to follow many rules. Parallel parenting effects on child is that the most attention is paid to the better life of the child. If the mother or father violates the following rules, then legal action or a case can be registered against him. If you are playing the role of parallel parenting with a narcissist person, then it can be very challenging. But knowing the following rules about what is parallel parenting with a narcissist and how it works can help you in parallel parenting with a narcissist person.
- To avoid direct confrontation, communication between parents is very less. Only email, message, or letter or phone call is used for communication when absolutely necessary.
- Parents will not interfere in each other’s personal life.
- It will be mandatory for the child’s parents to follow the schedule set by the court.
- The child’s parents will not use abusive or provocative language with each other so that there is no possibility of dispute.
- The time, date and place of meeting is fixed, which reduces the possibility of mutual dispute.
- The child has to be handed over to the other parent at a fixed time, delay or withholding can increase the possibility of legal action.
- Parents can take some small decisions related to the child independently in their own time, but the approval of the ex-partner is necessary to take major decisions.
- Parents raise the child in their own way in their own time.
- The other parent cannot interfere in the parenting style as long as it does not affect the safety of the child.
- If the situation worsens or there is no consensus on any topic, then legal process can be resorted to.
- The most important rule is that the differences between the parents should not affect the child.
- Legal action can be taken against hiding any information related to the child’s medical condition, so during parallel parenting, parents should not hide anything about the child from their ex-partner.
- The child is not involved in the disputes between the parents and is not instigated against any one parent. Doing so is a violation of this parallel parenting process and is also not legally justified.
parallel parenting pros and cons
Parallel parenting is useful for those parents who have a lot of conflicts and do not want to communicate with each other. It is an important process for divorced parents who cannot live together due to mutual differences. The parallel parenting pros and cons are that the main purpose of this process is to protect the child from the fights of the parents and to give him mental peace, but it is also important to know the parallel parenting pros and cons.
Benefits
Reduction in tension and conflict: During the parallel parenting process, parents communicate very little with each other, which results in a greatly reduced chance of conflict and dispute.
Parental support: During the parallel parenting process, the child gets full love from both parents because the child stays with the mother and father for a fixed time, so the child does not lack the love of the mother and father even if they live separately.
Independent parenting: In the parallel parenting process, the parents independently take the responsibility of raising the child, due to which they are free to adopt their parenting style.
Stable environment: Due to less conflict between parents in the parallel parenting process, the child gets a stable environment, safe environment and peaceful life, which is good for his mental health and also good for his growth.
Practical solution: If there are more disputes between the parents and their relationship is not good, then the parallel parenting process can be very beneficial because in this process the parents do not need to communicate with each other, they just have to fulfill the responsibility of the child completely.
Disadvantages
Difficulty in communication: Due to less communication between parents, sometimes important information is not exchanged at the right time, which is a big problem because not getting information at the right time can lead to many problems.
Parenting styles: Parents will raise the child in their own way, due to which the child may get confused or refuse to follow some rules or violate them, which can cause problems for the parents in raising the child.
Mental suffering: Most children want their parents to live together, so the child can also suffer mentally because his parents do not live together, the child may feel uncomfortable because he may feel the distance between the parents.
Emergency situations: When an emergency related to the child arises during parallel parenting, then due to lack of communication between the parents, there may be a delay in taking the right decision.
Less flexibility: There is very little communication between parents during parallel parenting, which is also a problem because due to this, it can be very difficult to make necessary changes in the upbringing of the child.
In the above information, we have told you the parallel parenting pros and cons, which helps in understanding parallel parenting better and also gives an opportunity to understand for whom it is a better suggestion.
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How is the life of a child in parallel parenting?
The parallel parenting effects on child is that the child has to understand the feelings of both the mother and father and also has to follow their words. The rules of parenting of the parents can be different, so the child can sometimes feel confused or insecure. It may take time for the child to adjust to the different methods of parenting of the parents,
but the advantage of this process is that the child stays away from the fights of the parents, due to which the mental health of the child remains good. In this process, it is important to give stability and emotional support to the child, so that he can feel comfortable.
But after the dispute or divorce of parents, the child’s life is not normal. In such a situation, the child starts suffering from mental stress. The parallel parenting process can be unique for the child, which may take time for the child to accept. Therefore, do not take the child’s abnormal behavior seriously and try to understand his feelings.
Difference between parallel parenting and co-parenting
Parallel parenting
In parallel parenting, parents do not live together because they do not want to spoil the child’s life due to their mutual dispute. For which parents participate in the upbringing of the child even after living separately and take responsibility for the child, but there is a lot of difference between parallel parenting and co-parenting,
such as in parallel parenting, parents communicate only through email, message or letter to share important information and avoid direct communication so that mutual conflict can be avoided. Parents take small decisions related to the child independently in their decided time but for major decisions such as education and health,
permission of the ex-partner is required because taking any major decision for the child without permission can increase mutual disputes. In parallel parenting, an attempt is made to protect the child from the mutual disputes between the parents. The effect of parallel parenting on the child is that the child feels mentally and emotionally secure and his life is not affected by the bad relationship of the parents.
And in parallel parenting, boundaries are fixed between the parents so that they do not interfere in each other’s personal lives. These are some of the main principles of parallel parenting.
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Co-parenting
Co-parenting is a process in which parents raise their children with each other’s help and support each other, even after the parents’ divorce or separation, but they do not just live together. In this, both parents fulfill their responsibilities completely and take important decisions with each other’s permission,
but the possibility of mutual dispute in co-parenting is very low because even though the relationship of the parents has broken, they still respect each other and respect each other’s feelings and financial situation. There is limited communication in parallel parenting, but there is open and healthy communication in co-parenting.
Therefore, when needed, they do not miss a single moment to communicate with each other and take the right decision for the child. The main goal of parallel parenting is to reduce the conflict between parents, while the purpose of co-parenting is to work together for the welfare of the child. Co-parenting is for parents who are willing to compromise with each other despite divorce or separation.